secret.

The fact behind your death is a secret.

Here I am, standing in front of your still-fresh tomb, fresh tears in my eyes.

Secret, it’s all secret, the circumstances of your death, and I need to protect it. With my life, even.

I’m just your average middle-school girl, with sparkly eyes and bubbly personality. That bubbly personality is the very reason I met you, having sprained myself from jumping around in P.E. I found you sitting around on my way back from the nurse’s office, your bright-yellow hair ruffled by the wind.  Limply, I walked nearer and you turn around, caught me in the act. Eyeing me curiously, I heard small, questioning voice from you. I smiled, came nearer, and squatted in front of you, grinning broadly.

That day, we became friends.

The day after, I learnt that you can’t walk. Well, not exactly cannot walk, but you had hurt one of your leg, and the sole process of walking hurt you even more, so you opted not to walk at all. It hurts me to see you glancing longingly towards your other friends, frolicking happily; so I decided to help you. With the janitor’s help, I rummaged through the school’s warehouse, and found some kind of strolling-chair which can be used to take you around. Then I proceed to fetch you, giggling wildly all the way.

Even though you clearly approved my effort, looking at me adoringly every time I came to fetch you for our walk, not everyone do. In fact, one of my classmates strongly opposed it; going as far as sneering openly and throw things whenever we met in the hallways. I thought nothing of his musings anyway; your happy voice is enough for me to continue our pleasant pastime.

And so, days come and go, till that fateful day, the last day I met you alive.

I just came back from the warehouse, bringing the stroll-chair as usual; and I saw you lying on your usual place.  Not sitting, lying; wet grounds be damned. At first, I thought everything was fine. You overslept, maybe. So I walk closer and caught sight of your face. Your eyes widened in horror; as your mouth opened and closed in a vain attempt to breathe. Panicked, I rushed nearer and grabbed you, nothing else came to mind. I never knew that you got other sickness other than your broken leg..

what should I do??

 I kept grabbing you in my arms, and slowly, your breathing goes back to normal, but you started to hiccup. Having brought nothing, stroller aside, I looked around frantically and found the water tap.

No time to lose, I thought, and brought you to drink from it.

A small gurgle is the last voice I heard from you when your body started to ease. Your hiccup stopped; your eyes closed; and then there’s silence.

I stared disbelievingly at your limp body which had ceased to breathe.

I just killed you, by my own hands.

“What are you doing here?”

My head snapped around; there, standing with his usual sneer, was my classmate.

“What is that, a tomb?” he walks nearer, looking at me enquiringly. 

I closed my mouth.

“Whose tomb is this?”

It’s a secret which I would never tell you. I thought, glaring at him. He flinched; and, bringing his hands out, says “Okay, okay, I wouldn’t ask.” But he didn’t go away as I hoped he will. Instead, he stands beside me.

“Say, where is the chick you used to stroll around with?”

I flinched. “None of your business.” I said harshly; my eyelids flutter.

He’s there, inside the tomb. I killed him.

He looks at me earnestly. “Listen, I don’t want to do anything to it, just..” He scratched his head awkwardly. “I had seen him this afternoon and gave him some vitamin that I found in the nurse office, ‘cause she said it’s supposed to strengthen your bones.” He gulped noisily. “But, now that I think of it, maybe it’s not the kind you could give to a chick, you know. “

He looks straight into my eyes. “I’m just.. worried.”

I remembered your out-of-breath state; little wings flapped weakly.

Suddenly the secret seems not worth keeping anymore.