.special

She is special.

Beautiful, 
               kind, 
                       and popular.

A full package; she charms people left and right, smiling kindly, joking openly.
Her sparkly eyes, tinkling laugh bringing people to her side, every time they could.


Small but athletic, her strong and graceful legs made her the star of athletic club.
Her diligent nature led her to practice until late, silhouette flickering on the school ground by dusk.

Lovable, bright child; everybody loves her.

We are in the same classroom.
Her figure, her smile brought my eyes unto her every hour,
                                                                       every minute,
                                                                       every second;
                                                                                           indulging me in secret pleasure.


She is mine alone at those times,
                                                  my dear girl..

I adore her.

Now and then will she look away from her crowd of admirers.

Towards the blackboard,

                                     outside the window,

                                                                    to my corner of the classroom; 

giving silent, passing glance; never more than a flicker, made me giddy in rapture.

Until one day, I caught her eyes boring into mine.

Longer than a split second, more than an entwining gaze,

filled with idle wonder..

which turns into cold terror.

She saw me.

And she can see me seeing her.

Then I realize, all those short-lived glances were meant for me;

given to me;

As she is the only one who can see me.

Delightfully, I stalk towards her - foul stench by my every step,

                                                                                              intending to fulfill my adoration.

I can see her visibly flinching in horror.

A girl who has everything, a dear, special girl.

At that point of time, her eyes shows me the deepest thought she always felt inside;

She just wants to be normal.

Awakening Long-Lost Drawing Skill

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Chibi ver.
..but i have no coloring skill.. sobsob

drip-drop

The A/C in my dorm room is broken.

I had contacted the dorm manager, and he in turn had also contacted the repairman, but it’s no use; the A/C would keep drip-dropping copious amount of cooling water when turned on.

In the end I was forced to put a towel under and changing it every so often so my room wouldn’t be flooded, just as the first time it happened on Monday night. 

I remembered finding my window left open overnight on Tuesday morning – even so, the damp smell still prevailed so I just went to school as it was.

Like voices from water tap, the dripping water from the A/C made a cold, haphazard melody.

drip

drip

drip-drop

drip

drip

All night.

At first the voices drove me crazy, but turns out I was able to tune it down and only feel, not hear it; then I’d fell asleep with it as background noise.

***

Today is Friday, and unlike other days this past week, it’s dark and raining; thunderclaps were heard every now and then. 

I was going to get my dinner outside, but seeing the thunder going all flash, flash happily outside, I find myself getting cold feet.

So I cook instant noodles, wash the dishes, took a bath, and decide to sleep earlier.

My A/C still going drip-drop accompanied by raindrops from outside. Sighing, I close my eyes.

drip

The thunder had calmed down, only releasing a flash every now and then – burping some low rumbles. Noise of trickling raindrops merging with my broken A/C.

drip

drip-drop

drip

drip

Each and every time, it would sound nearer and nearer; like the rain had come to me in my sleep.

Even my room started to smell earthy from the water.

drip

drip-drop

drip-drop

drip-drip-drip

drip

I flicked my bangs from my face, feeling them stuck unto me in wet strands.

I can feel mumbled, heavy swooshes of wind. Must be coming from the window.

drip-drip-drip

drip

Annoyed, I flipped myself to the side and continue sleeping.

drip

***

When I woke, the dripping had formed a wet spot under the A/C.

Along with it,

several wet set of footprints, which came and went from the window.

I figure the first thing I need to do today is call the manager, again.

I need to change the A/C and the window’s lock.

Or change room altogether, if possible..

Glassy-eyes

It was raining hard.

The deep-sounding rumbles of the thunder blazed through the night, silly wind played with my short hair freely.

I found you there, shivering from the cold.

Glassy-eyed and all.

***

We moved in together.

I’m messy; I wrecked all area of our living quarter, leaving bits and pieces of furniture along my path. But you’re even messier- leaving strand of light-colored hair everywhere, crunches of food, and your scent- It drove me crazy just going across the living room properly. I know you don’t like bath, but you could at least try to properly wash yourself, right?

Then there’s the problem with your nightly snuggling.

What did you seek – Warmth? Cuddles?

Or just another body to spend the night with?

You would look at me with those green-tinted eyes, glowing like neon-

Little mouth rumbling a name, suspiciously loving.

Then I’ll scoff and turn away to sleep.

***

Sometimes your friend came along home.

Those times, your glassy eyes would turn sparkly, turning deeper green. Then you’d spend your time together scrambling around, left each other with scratches, sounding hurt all the time.

I would pretend not to care and trying to focus on the TV, huddled up within my blanket for warmth.

Far from soon, they’d leave, with not even any attempt of familiarity- typical of your kind. You’d find me half-asleep and snuck within my blanket, loving rumbles resounded absently.

Then I would fell asleep.

***

You’re different today.

Came home ruffled, like having passed a mighty storm – you passed by me like I was thin air, totally occupied with yourself. You left a torn-up invitation card on the floor, full of grisly scratches. The room smelled of tears, and your glassy eyes didn’t help. I call for you, but you left me for bathroom – something glints within your hand coldly.

Not long after, the door resounds with frantic bangs; somewhere, the thunder rumbles lowly.

“Is there anyone inside?! Please, don’t do this – please, let me in! I can explain!”

More bangs and urgent noises.

You didn’t come out from the bathroom. I guess I’m the one who need to get this..

“Anyone?!! Please, just answer!”

I answered the door instead of you.

“Meow!”

PING!

No, it's not the sound of a bell.

..or your Blackberry XD

I was told once in a loong time ago, that whenever you heard someone cough you have to respond by saying "ping, ping" so as to lighten the cough. It was a kind of Javanese culture, I think.

Well, apparently not all of it was right; it is Javanese culture, but not for coughing people - because recently when my Mother coughed a lot and I ended up saying "ping, ping" she went berserk on me and said "I'm not choking - if you do that, I may end up choking - so STOP!"

Ooo, scary.

I'm not complaining because my Mother got mad at me - I wrote this because of her next sentence : "You might want to stop doing that - it's not common. What if people in your workplace look at you oddly when you do it?"

Hmmmm.

Weell, even if I had done it the wrong way in my 24 years of life, it is my culture - our culture as Javanese people and I don't see any harm on doing it normally in any situation, don't you think?

Clearly, it may have been something unusual, maybe bordering on unique for some people. But still, to stop doing things because it was not something you consider usual norm; especially cultural-related things, in my opinion, is just wrong.

Ookay, maybe I am a little bit sensitive for these kind of things; it made me remember my personal hatred of design nowadays. 

As an interior designer, looking at heritage buildings scattered around the city being torn away to be changed into some minimalist-looking modern building is just ridiculous. Yes, in this modern times, we need to get on with the rest of the world; the technology, the trend, the way of life; but not the culture. Each and every country had their own characteristic, and that cultural diversity is what makes this world colorfully beautiful.

Back to the cultural gestures, we did have rules which we have to abide in community; which didn't forbid us doing those gestures. For example, I am a Moslem, so I did Islamic gestures like saying astagfirullah or alhamdulillah in proper situations, and that didn't change when I went to Japan - even if it's culturally unrecognizable there. I did it automatically, because I was raised doing it, and it's a right thing for me.

However there are people who were willing to kill themselves and their culture to keep up with the advancing world; that is the very reason that our country lost most of it's cultural heritage, trying to be normal and forgetting their roots in the process.

It's just like trying to kill your own ancestor - it's bad, and very wrong.

Keeping up with the rest of the world is fine and good - but it will be better if done in moderation, where our own culture still thrive within us and help to contribute our own unique essence in everyday interaction. It's good to have cultural diversities anyway - it's what make this world colorful and always new.

In conclusion, I will still saying "ping" when I have to, but taking care not to say it when my Mother coughed again XD

this is such a long rambling... hahaha

Eating Bugs

..the topic was taken with giddy-ness from my brother's assignment.

***

So.. should we eat bugs?

..Why shouldn't we?

According to this certain video, the practice of eating bugs - called enthomology - could be the most viable solution to solve food deficiency problem in the whole world. Developing bug farms for everyday consumption is environmentally safe, use less space than normal cattle, and easier to farm due to the swarmy quality of most insects.

Socio-economically, it's veery advantageous.

But how about the taste?

Me myself would cringe with the possibilities of taking an insect - say, a grub -for lunch. Imagining how they would squirm and wiggle in our mouths while we eat.. Oh my.

Fortunately most tropical countries such as mine had no cultural qualms about eating insects - thankfully, in dead condition. Or when they're not freshly-dead, they will be served roasted or fried, and commonly will be splashed with sauce.

Again, how about the taste??

People who did ate insect would tell that most of them had buttery texture, which had much to do with their high-protein amounts. There are some who would compare them to a delicacy like lobster, too; because of the unique aftertaste. However if you're squeamish it would be better to try consuming insects which had been processed into another consumable shape like paste, or flour. For someone with a lot of guts and superior taste buds, just try to find the cooked, or even fresh-from-the-bark insects, pop them inside your mouth - and maybe you'll find that it tastes just like your everyday snacks.

***

For the record, I myself had no experience at all in eating bugs..

Someday I'll try.

..Someday XD XD

knockingcat

lookie, another gif!

and it can be turned into a lockscreen tooo~~~

like this!!
isn't it cuuute~~?

i really need to get a job.. ha ha